Men fall in love when you’re hard to get

by | Dec 9, 2023 | Dating, Attraction

I want you to think about a time when you’ve shown over interest in a man and you have pursued him, showed him that you’re interested in him, told him that you’re interested in him, called him, you were very nice to him. And I want you to think about if that’s worked, what has been the result of you showing a man that you were interested in him before him claiming you or let’s say committing to you. Has it worked? Has he moved into a relationship with you?

I talk about the masculine feminine energy dynamic so I’m not referring to just any man. I am talking about the healthy masculine man. A healthy masculine man is developed in his masculinity and in who he is.

He is a confident man. That means that he’s going to move toward women and dating and relationships in a very unique way in comparison to, let’s say, men that are not developed in their masculinity, men that are more in their feminine energy. These men need more reassurance from a woman. They lack discipline, confidence in who they are They may also feel very triggered by my messages because again, they’re not the healthy masculine.

Now I want you to think about a time when you have pursued a man in any way before commitment And I want you to think about the result of that. Did you get what you wanted? Did he commit to you? And if he did, I want you to think about your own personal dynamic. Are you in your healthy feminine? Because a woman that is in her healthy feminine is never going to pursue a man. And I want you to actually assess is he in his healthy masculine? Because a man that’s in his healthy masculine is not going to feel comfortable in a woman pursuing him. In fact, healthy masculine energy men move toward women and fall in love with women that are hard to get.

I want you to think about what the result has been when you’ve not played hard to get.

When a woman has not played hard to get, oftentimes with masculine energy men, what tends to happen is even if initially they show interest and they move very quickly into the dynamic, What is leading there is not their energy and it’s not their heart, it’s their ego.

So when you pursue a man and you are making yourself available for him and you find that he’s interested in you or interested and it’s working because this can happen, especially before a man figures out himself and figures out what feels good to him. What you’ll tend to find is that after the initial phase and this phase is very short. Let’s say it’s a few weeks, once you show him, you’re interested and you sleep with him you’re physical with him, initially he may like it, but what you might find is that after a period of time, so let’s say after a few weeks, even maybe a month, maybe two months, it doesn’t tend to last that long usually for a man. What will happen is he’ll pull away and you’ll start wondering where that interest was that he initially gave you, so if initially, you messaged a man first or you called him and he liked it and he invited you over or let’s say, you guys just moved into something very quickly and initially it was working and he was interested in that. That’s not his heart. That’s his ego, as soon as he gets you, let’s say, what will happen with him is you’ll notice that he’s pulling away. Now he feels cold. Now he feels disinterested. Again, with a healthy masculine man, that’s not going to work,

With an insecure man that will work because again, an insecure person is going to attract an insecure person and then they’ll move into something very quickly. And then, it’ll just develop into a relationship. But again, as I mentioned in my channel, I talk about the healthy masculine, healthy feminine, and the healthy masculine and the healthy feminine just do not operate like that.

So we just know that this approach doesn’t work that when we show a man that we’re interested even if initially he seems like he’s interested it doesn’t last in the long run in the long run he starts to pull away. He seems less interested. Also, because as women, we tend to get attached. We get attached through physical closeness. Whereas in men don’t.

Let’s get into reason number two.

The second reason men fall in love when you are hard to get is that masculinity thrives off of purpose and challenge. When a man is moving towards a woman and he’s courting her and I get into this and what men want he feels purpose He feels happy. That’s how men feel successful in life They feel successful when they are the ones making advances towards a woman and they are the ones that have to win her Over that’s what makes them feel good and so a woman that is harder to get enables a man to meet this need.

This is a need of a healthy masculine man where they need to be challenged. They need to feel this level of purpose in their life. When a woman, it’s very easy to get, this need is not being met and in order for a man in his masculine energy to feel good, to feel happy within himself, he needs to feel some sort of challenge.

We have different needs that will allow us to fall in love. So with a man, it’s not so much connection that he needs. He needs to be with a woman that is going to invigorate this aspect of him. And this aspect of him is invigorated with a woman that is harder to get.

Now, another reason that men fall in love with women that are hard to get is because this is how an emotional connection is built. The bond for men can only be built through, an emotional connection. A man that is, fixated on a woman just through lust or limerence or, physical contact, that’s not a man that’s in love, that’s his physical needs being met.

For a man to fall in love, there needs to be an emotional connection there. He needs to feel close to the woman. A man does not feel close to a woman through intercourse. He just doesn’t. Without the emotional connection there first. So if an emotional bond is built and then he’s being intimate with a woman, it’s a very different experience for a man than if he’s just having sex with multiple women.

And, playboys or men that kind of just, live their life sleeping with different women will say that, you might often hear a man saying that he was with all these women sleeping with them and it got old, like it was not fulfilling. And that’s because he never met a woman that also, created this emotional bond with him.

An emotional bond takes time to develop because there’s a whole process of, meeting each other, getting to know each other, and that takes time to build into form. And so women that are harder to get are less available. They’re not available for conversations all the time. They’re not available to, have long extended dates. They’re not available for long messages all the time. They want to see how a man acts. Over time and they want to see consistency in a man. So women that are harder to get or feminine women, they naturally provide this challenge to a man because they pace the relationship. So when we’re pacing a relationship, men start to really develop healthy feelings for a woman and a woman that is in her feminine energy. And this is generally a woman that’s harder to get because she has options. She also is waiting to see, which man is the most consistent, which man shows up for her. She is getting to know the man emotionally.

Now this cannot happen. right away. This takes time to build. And what men want. I talk about what masculine energy men look for. In Secrets of the Feminine Woman, I talk about how to show up as a feminine woman and how to be that woman that men desire.

So make sure you get those books.

Now to add to this point, men fall in love through acts of service.

Men do not fall in when women are doing for them. They fall in love when they are doing for women. And again, this takes a period of time. So when a man is incrementally investing in you, over time, this is how he bonds. This is how he starts to fall in love. So this compounds because now there is this emotional connection being built. But on top of that, the woman is allowing him. to pursue her and he’s investing his time and his resources to her.

When a man is investing his time and resources in a woman, he starts to fall in love with her because men fall in love. through them doing for the woman. That is masculine energy. So if you find yourself doing for a man, he’s going to be very passive very lazy.

And he’s not really going to be in love with you because men fall in love when they are doing versus feminine energy.

Women don’t fall in love when they have to fill in the gap for a man. In fact, that is the biggest turnoff. for feminine energy women. If a woman has to help a man in any way feminine energy women are going to be very turned off by that.

Feminine energy women actually trust that men are capable and that a man that is in his masculine energy is going to want to woo her and pursue her. And in his wooing and pursuing her, he is actually falling in love with you because that’s what he needs in order to bond with you.

So women that are harder to get allow a man to pursue them because they have a high self esteem. They have high self worth and they don’t want to help a man woo them. They understand that they’re a desirable woman and therefore that a man that meets them, and if it’s the right man, is going to put the effort into, winning her over.

And that feels good both for the woman and for the man.

This is why it’s also very important to allow a man to court because courting allows this whole process of getting to know each other creating an emotional bond a man committing acts of service to please a woman and in What Men Want, I really get into the courting process.

The courting process really helps women and men develop a healthy emotional connection before they commit to each other. 

To go deeper read the e-books. Email me your specific question. I will send you a voice response + transcription with my input on your specific situation.

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1 Comment

  1. Tabitha

    Wow, thank you so much for this helpful article dear Fareen! It’s very insightful.. I’m so happy i discovered your blog posts and have been reading them voraciously!

    I myself have acted very insecurely and attracted a likewise insecure partner. I can see your words and how they played out in my reality

    I’m looking forward to following your inner work course very soon to find my confidence..

    Thank you again for the important work you do ❤️


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