What Men Want
The Ultimate Guide to a Masculine Man’s Heart
What Men Want
The Ultimate Guide to a Masculine Man’s Heart
A thoughtful approach to one of the greatest challenges—and greatest rewards—of human existence: the relationship between a man and a woman. It deftly weaves eternal issues like honesty, physical intimacy and emotional openness with contemporary realities like dating apps and text messaging.
The book speaks to women (and the men who already do or hope to love them) who understand that today’s world still offers real connection, real intimacy, and real love. It focuses on healing and health and on making sure that women and men are in the appropriate energy.
It is only that the excitement of a real relationship can develop. And it will take time; in an era of instant information access and drone deliveries to the front door, there is still no replacement for time in letting love flourish.
“I absolutely LOVED this book! It has so many valuable tips and advice on relationships dynamics; how men and women experience love differently and how to connect with a man in a meaningful way. I’d recommend this book to any woman who is interested in creating a long-lasting, balanced and a successful relationship with a masculine man.”
– Margaret Buj
About Fareen
Fareen Ash is an intimacy, relationship and attraction expert.
For a time, Fareen lived in government housing on welfare with her mother, who suffered from mental illness. Fareen spent much of her time caring for her, working multiple jobs while attending graduate school.
She worked tirelessly to earn scholarships to help subsidize her education and practiced as a litigator for nearly 10 years, which exposed her to the dynamics between men and women and the inherent energies that govern human behaviour.
She has since dedicated her life to helping accomplished women unleash their feminine power, heal themselves emotionally and rewire their minds to embody their authentic essence. She is passionate about feminine energy embodiment in both love and leadership.
Fareen has developed a unique method for mastering the mind, overcoming emotional blocks and relieving habitual negative patterning. Her mission is to demonstrate that femininity is a woman’s superpower.
What Others Are Saying
As soon I got, “What Men Want”, I was soooooo excited to read it; I finished it in 2 days!! I’m going back in for round two. There’s so much that got missed during my education, growing up. For me, knowing how to date and how to attract the love I want is definitely something I’d been getting wrong. And who do I even ask?! It’s been a guessing game. Because I haven’t known how to date, it always seems so complicated, even scary. Fareen makes it so simple. Instead of a scary world of unknowns, it almost seems simple. Now I’m excited to start dating again; Fareen’s guidance makes it feel safe, simplified and thrilling. Fareen, thank you sooo much for sharing your wisdom with the world. I love you LOTS!
This is such an amazing and fascinating read for anyone wanting to clearly understand masculinity as well as masculine and feminine energy dynamics in a relationships. It helps you identify the subtleties and crucial missing pieces that aren’t often talked about in traditional dating literature. Fareen does an excellent job of explaining step by step, how to approach dating and relationships as a feminine woman if you want to have a committed and fulfilling relationship with a masculine man –as well as the mistakes we often unknowingly make that sabotage these relationships. She is so thorough, honest, direct, and thoughtful in what she shares in this book, it feels like she’s speaking directly to you! I believe that this information is invaluable for anyone dating or wanting to improve their relationship as it has helped me understand myself and my past relationships with others. Thank you Fareen 💗
Wow! What a great book. There is so much insight in to men, what attracts a masculine man and the feminine way to be to attract this kind of man. It gives you wisdom on how you may be showing up and the way a feminine woman would. This book shared valuable insight no matter where on your journey you are. It will allow you to see what you may need to take accountability for, show you your growth and the steps you need to take to become the feminine woman you want to be. It has a well thought out structure, is easy to follow and is beautifully written. Compassion, honesty and love flow through each chapter. A book you can keep learning from as it gives more insight on each read. I love it!
OUTLINE
Preface
Fareen Ash wastes no time in telling us why we should read this book. Her focus is the masculine man and how hard—yet in some ways easy—relationships can be with and for masculine men. It is crucial that women be feminine. That does not mean women who are weak or think of nothing but their man. It means women who know that the core of femininity is love. Difficulties arise when women adopt masculine energy.
Chapter 1: Introduction
The book begins with a simple truth; we are all looking for real fulfillment. More accurately, we are looking for fulfillment if we are in the correct energy. One reason for the relationship challenges that are so common today is that women have been drawn out of their feminine nature to adopt masculine traits of trying to get ahead. Masculine men are not looking for that; there may be connections, physical and otherwise, but masculine men are not serious about relationships with women who aren’t feminine.
Chapter 2: High-Value Women
The central distinction Fareen makes in this book is between high-value and low-value behaviors and thus high-value and low-value women (and men). She carefully avoids the stale connotations such terms may evoke, focusing instead on a subtle account of extracting value as opposed to adding it. A high-value woman is balanced and well-rounded; she has no need to chase men and does not crave mere attention. She knows that the feminine, high-value woman has a health sense of her own worth and the importance of the pursuit to a masculine man.
Chapter 3: Low-Value Women
The most important thing to know is that being a low-value woman is not a life sentence. Fareen is careful to let readers know that emitting bad energy is not the same as being bad per se. Low-value behaviors may seem like they will draw men in, but they will simply push men—or at least masculine men—away. This goes beyond merely chasing men to physical intimacy; sex without the right emotional energy conveys a lack of commitment, and as women engaging in low-value behaviors demand more, masculine men will invest less. These women are in a state of denial, and one purpose of the book is to show them how to move out of that dangerous place.
Chapter 4: Masculinity
Masculinity is innate; it has been with us since the days when men went out to hunt in the forests. Today, it is manifested most obviously by the value men place in setting a goal and achieving it. They don’t need help; that will only drive them away. Even when it comes to sex, masculine men are wired to commit to having children as part of physical intimacy. They are built for commitment, but real commitment requires a real pursuit. Finally, masculine men value integrity and honesty.
Chapter 5: Pursuit
In the context of relationships, the masculine man’s natural proclivity to hunt is manifested as pursuit. If they’re interested, they will pursue. The high-value woman responds slowly and carefully; she understands the value of the pursuit to the man, and she knows she is worth the time and effort. For the truly masculine man, who as we saw in the previous chapter values honesty and integrity, all pursuit is authentic. He is either interested, or he is not; he does not toy with women by pretending to be attracted to them. For much the same reason, the masculine man will not respond to women who chase or otherwise act inauthentically.
Chapter 6: Pursuit versus Chasing
It is important to understand in detail the difference between pursuit and chasing for both men and women, whether they are imbalanced or in touch with the energy that is natural. Chasing is not being bad; it comes from a wounded ego, from the need to feel good. In an imbalanced man who is operating from his ego, this can mean focusing on women who are not being their high-value selves. In a woman who is imbalanced, this can mean seeking out a man’s attention, but a masculine man will only pull away in response. Instead, a masculine man will pursue what makes him feel truly good; and that is a high-value woman.
Chapter 7: The Various Stages of Pursuit
Fareen identifies four key stages of pursuit: attraction, courtship, commitment and committed. In the first stage, which can be online or in person, the value of the match will become clear immediately, provided there is a masculine man and a feminine woman. The man will lead, but the woman will ask questions to make sure the man is worth her time. She can give cues but will always let him take the next step
Chapter 8: Freedom
Men need to feel free; to them, independence is as important as oxygen. That is far from the same thing as saying they will never commit; in fact, it is only from freedom that a masculine man can make a true commitment. Once he does, his commitment will be rock-solid. What is most impressive is that the feminine woman doesn’t have to do anything—or at least anything she wouldn’t normally do—to ensure he feels that freedom. Unlike an unhealed woman who conveys neediness and dependence, the feminine woman knows that independence will lead to commitment, provided that each is the “one” for the other.
Chapter 9: Space
Like pursuit, Fareen divides the crucial issue of space into four categories. In the attraction stage, there is lots of space. There is certainly curiosity that soon becomes interest, but the masculine man is busy with many things and knows that coming on too strong will fail. For her part, the woman maintains limits; beyond ensuring that values align, communication is intermittent and casual.
Chapter 10: Authentic Femininity
Fareen makes the important point here that male and female are not the same as masculine and feminine. Men, even and perhaps especially masculine men, love authentic feminine energy; indeed, they have feminine energy themselves. Seeing feminine energy makes a masculine man feel even more like a man. However, that does not mean they are turned off by women who are ambitious or have their own assets, even if a woman has more assets than they do. What matters is that the woman not lead with those accomplishments or assets; that is a turn-off. As long as a man is balanced in his masculine energy, the woman is his life has no need to complain or nag.
Chapter 11: Feminine Happiness
What men love most about feminine women is that they are happy. This may seem surprising, as if the man can’t do anything for her. However, her happiness inspires him to do things for her and to make her even more happy, even though she is already doing fine on her own. By contrast, there is the unhappy woman, who is unhealed and has inner work to do. Often, that unhappiness is self-destructive: while there can be instances of criticizing others, most of the anger, sadness, jealousy and judgment is directed inward.
Chapter 12: Reasonableness & Accountability
Fareen takes some time to subtly remind us that we are reading about relationships, human relationships, and we all know that to err is human. To the masculine man and the feminine woman, standards matter, so when mistakes are made, it is important to deal with them directly and openly, but only at the level that they merit. It is important to keep everything in perspective. We saw above that masculine men are committed to integrity, so they already know when they have made a mistake. They don’t need to be scolded or have things blown out of proportion. There is no need to play the role of a drill sergeant.
Chapter 13: Feminine Communication
Because women use emotions, which are feminine, it might seem that they will know how to communicate in just the right way. But that isn’t always so. First, women need to know their own needs and be in a healthy, feminine energy. In those cases, a woman’s requests are light and her tone is neutral; the masculine man genuinely wants to fulfill those needs because that will make her happy. However, being bossy and demeaning will make a masculine man pull away. In the end, it’s simple: requests can’t be demands.
Chapter 14: Respect
In the context of this book, respect is in one sense simple, but in another more complicated. In the outside world and especially at work, men are used to giving and receiving respect as a matter of course, but that rarely involves welcoming unsolicited help or advice. That can, and often does, feel like an effort at controlling. Nagging and comparing can come across as disrespectful to these men as men, and it is women who are polarized in their masculine energy who are most likely to nag and criticize.
Chapter 15: Emotions
Emotions are inherently feminine, so when any of us, male or female, expresses emotion, that comes from the feminine. Especially when compared to their work world, emotions bring masculine men into a world full of lightness and love. Thus, high-value women show excitement and are positive about and appreciative of their efforts. They avoid being polarized in their masculine energy, which leads to employing strategies and ruses. Instead, they offer emotional safety in the form of openness and warmth. This behavior is inviting. Physical affection—from both parties—is an important element of a healthy emotional atmosphere.
Chapter 16: Boundaries
Boundaries are not limits or rules or “no-nos”; boundaries are one way that healthy women earn respect. Everyone needs boundaries of one kind or another, and a man doesn’t feel safe with a woman who doesn’t have boundaries. Though they are not the only type, physical boundaries are very important; it is essential to take time to be physical. There are many women who did not hold to the boundaries they set, and the men who have been with them have lost respect for them. Boundaries are not about control but about establishing a healthy environment.
Chapter 17: Love
Fareen Ash wastes no time in telling us why we should read this book. Her focus is the masculine man and how hard—yet in some ways easy—relationships can be with and for masculine men. It is crucial that women be feminine. That does not mean women who are weak or think of nothing but their man. It means women who know that the core of femininity is love. Difficulties arise when women adopt masculine energy.
Move over “Why Men Love Bitches” …
This BOOK is the NEXT HOT item!!!
Despite being 7 billion people in the world, today’s men and women are finding it significantly harder to date, much less find the “one.” And when finding the right one, keeping it can be another story!
Fareen to the rescue! Fareen breaks relationships down depending on what stage you are in – for the courting, wanting commitment and already committed! This book allows us to understand relationships and how to navigate them no matter who we are or where we are in life.
The book is so light and refreshing, and explains her teaching so well! For instance, she explains how to be a high value woman, and earn the respect and adoration of the man of our dreams! All the while, rising to our best selves. Who wouldn’t want that?
For the longest time I was not looking for a relationship, but this book excites me and empowers me with the self-confidence I need to get back out there in the dating world! I could not put this book down, and you won’t be able to either! If you are on the fence about buying this book – get it! You will not regret it.
– Shireen Khimani
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What Men Want
The Ultimate Guide to a Masculine Man’s Heart