Attraction – What´s Really Going on?

by | May 1, 2021 | Relationships

What is it? Is it primal? Or does it go beyond the instinctual drives hardwired in all of us? Attraction beyond the ego’s perspective is a deep sense of knowingness and the innate desire that one gets from being in the presence of someone they deeply resonate with or want to be like. Want to be like is vital here. When we think of attraction beyond the egoic, primal sense of the word, it is magnetism. This magnetism is the alluring pull that draws us in.

The appeal comes from recognizing us in them or the desire to be more of ourselves, which we see in them. This recognition of our true self (although we don’t know this is happening at a conscious level) pulls us towards attractive people.

In mating, because we function from our subconscious state of being, we are drawn to that which is familiar and that which we seek to embody. Think about it this way; we are rarely attracted to someone that is below our subconscious grade of where we consider ourselves – yes? This means that what I perceive as attractive may be different from your governing vantage point. A whole (integrated) man/woman may not be appealing to an unintegrated man/woman with unresolved trauma. Or, it may be! It depends where they are at an awareness level because our subconscious mind will always be drawn to a mate that can bring us wholeness, usually when we’re unaware that person is either identical to our opposite-sex parent or the complete opposite.

Furthermore, because we are attracted to someone who feels familiar to us (similar core values, attributes, drive, health), we also desire someone to help us integrate the unbalanced parts. This is often why a very feminine woman will be drawn to a very masculine man. At the unconscious level, they seek integration of the opposite energy. You can take a look around at the various couples you see. They will seem very similar at a deep unconscious level but also have differing energies. Gender doesn’t discriminate with energy. A woman can be in her masculine, and a man can be primarily in his feminine. What’s important to note here is that we will be attracted to our opposite dominant energy and core familiar traits.

But what about those we aren’t mating with? What makes them attractive?

Quite simply: Attractive people have mastered the art of being themselves.

They exude a sense of completeness. This can’t be manufactured, by the way. Our intuitive body can distinguish through feeling, the sense of authenticity. This is why authentic people are so attractive. At a visceral level, we see them, and we think, yes! “Yes, I want to be like her!” Or “yes, this man/woman is me, in the opposite energy!”. Of course, we’re not thinking this at a conscious level; this happens in the deeper crevices of our mind – but tune in next time you’re attracted to someone! What do you notice in them that you have yet to integrate? What do you see in them that you possess. Tune in. It’s fascinating!


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