Our Deepest Craving is to be All of Who We Are — Polarity in Relationships Brings Us into Union

by | Jul 4, 2021 | Attraction

When we can understand and even respect each other’s needs, our intimate relationship can flourish to its actual potential. The most potent relationship dynamic is the one between the masculine man and the feminine woman. There is no other dynamic filled with passion, attraction, and, if properly understood, lifelong love and commitment.

The problem arises with the gender differences that naturally occur with this strong polarity. The wider the gap in polarity, the stronger the attraction and likelihood of conflict as the differences in this dynamic are vast. However, this is the formula for chemistry and attraction. Integration of our energies is critical. However, the liberation in embodying one’s true essence and finding a partner that compliments us is paramount. A feminine forward woman is highly attracted to her complete opposite and will desire a level of vulnerability reserved for her. I like to say that the feminine forward woman subconsciously craves a man 80% in his masculine energy and 20% in his feminine. The masculine energy man is usually unfamiliar with his feminine aspects and won’t feel safe to reveal all parts of himself until he meets a woman that allows him the space to do so. A woman embodied in her essence comfortable experiencing all of who she is helps a man dabble in this aspect of himself without feeling off-balance and unsafe. Remember, masculinity is endowed to provide and protect. In the hunter-gatherer civilizations, men were not taught, nor was it necessary to be vulnerable.

Moments of vulnerability and softness would be reserved for his partner and behind closed doors. Masculinity was revered, and each partner respected the role of the other. Men were appreciated for their efforts, and women had their needs met by gathering and frolicking with other women of the tribe. There was no expectation of man to be all soft and emotional. Women wanted to see strength and feel that the mate they chose would protect the family against external threats.

Today, our roles are very confused, with women denouncing their feminine energy. Most women today project a very strong masculine essence and yet claim to desire a strong masculine man. Resultingly, there arises either a lot of conflict in the relationship or the extreme opposite: no sexual tension and friendship-type companionship.

The true polarity is what I’m about to get into here.

While the feminine energy is free-flowing, sporadic, and very much in the moment, the masculine energy operates most of the time in the complete opposite realm. With his brain functioning primarily in the left hemisphere, the masculine energy is mainly up in his head, sorting out the logistics of pretty much everything! Every detail, action, and decision is methodically and painstakingly calculated. When he meets a woman that is also very systematic, structured, and calculated, the emotional stimulation will rarely follow. If a woman cannot bring him down to his heart, which can only happen if she has the connection to her own heart and body, intimacy will not develop. For intimacy is “into-me-I-see,” which flows from intimacy with self first and foremost.

Women crave this from a masculine man today but have no idea how to achieve this level of intimacy with themselves first. The expectation of a masculine energy man understanding this feminine aspect of themselves, without a woman guiding them, through her femininity is what creates tension and an imbalance in our intimate relationships.

In today’s world, where most of us are pulled towards our masculine energy, men that operate primarily from this energy crave play, relaxation, and fun. When a man meets a feminine essenced woman, she will naturally pull him into his feminine energy. Both sexes have access to these energies but often aren’t integrated and hover on one side more than the other. An integrated feminine woman will have a healthy masculine core that supports her participation in life from her true authentic essence. The more secure she is, the less likely she will be focused on pleasing anyone and controlling any given situation. She will allow things to flow, be very much in the moment, and focus primarily on what feels good. This is refreshing to a healthy masculine energy man who often doesn’t have the space to access feelings or even have the know-how to handle such a broad spectrum of emotions due to the high demands placed on him externally and internally. When a romantic relationship or a date becomes devoid of healthy emotion, it will be unlikely that his desire will be stimulated to make her feel as good as she instinctively desires to feel, as femininity craves closeness.

Most of all, the masculine energy man craves a woman who creates safety through her being-ness, enabling him to also dabble in his feminine energy.

In the modern day, women can be consumed with pleasing others, getting things done, and accomplishing that they forget how to access their feminine essence. If she has numbed this pleasure center within herself, capturing and maintaining the heart of a masculine man will be pretty tricky. The feminine is and always will be the emotional leader of the home and romantic connection. Her ability to be unapologetically authentic, free, wild, and raw will create the safety he needs to access this freedom within himself. One is genuinely inspired to see a woman so connected to her heart that they too cannot help but lead others to their own heart.

This then is the woman that will capture his heart, for, through her complete freedom, he too becomes free.


Read  “What Men Want” to better understand men, masculine energy and relationships


Read “Secrets of the Feminine Woman” to better understand femininity and feminine energy


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